Despite three previous New York City trips, I have never been to historic Yankee Stadium.  I have, however, witnessed NY's love affair with the Yankees (more so than the Mets), specifically its fawning over the likes of Alex Rodriquez (a.k.a. A-Rod) or worse, Derek Jeter.

Perhaps you detect a hint of jealousy.  Perhaps…but I have remained steadfast in my long-suffering and faithful to my universal distain for the "best team that money can buy".  In 2002, when the Twins as a professional baseball team were in danger of contraction (interpretation: absorbed by the league and ceasing to exist as a Major League baseball franchise), A-Rod's salary as a single player was comparative to the payroll of the ENTIRE Twins team!  Sick.

If for no other reason (oh, or maybe the record-setting 26 World Series titles…a fact that is on the tongue tip of any Yankee fan ready to weigh in on who they consider the greatest sports franchise of all-time), the aforementioned is enough to drive my desire to see my (our!) beloved Twins beat the hated Yankees.

It is with this spirit that I embarked on my latest New York City adventure!

It's probably worth mentioning that two of the three in my baseball fun-bunch, James and Austin (father/son) are life-long Yankee fans (the third, Tom, is a Dodgers fan…which one of these doesn't belong?!?).  Yup…and they talk as much smack as I do.  This should prove to be an interesting week indeed.

It was set up to be a classic match-up:

Good overcomes Evil
Small Market Team dethrones the League's media darling
David beats Goliath

Day One: Twins vs. Yankees

Our adventure began with an early-morning direct flight from Des Moines to NYC.  Hours later, I got off the subway at the doorstep of the hallowed halls of Yankee Stadium.  I will admit that I was overcome with appreciation of this ballpark, so rich in tradition and, yes, Yankee Pride.

Now, when it comes to support for MY teams (Twins & Vikings), nothing is by accident; everything done with purpose.  This includes my choice of attire for the evening.  I was entering hostile gang territory.  I knew that, but that was not enough to thwart a guy from Iowa looking to invoke a little fan (un)friendly reaction and exhibit some borderline suicidal tendencies.

If the throwback baby-blue jersey of my boyhood hero, Twins legend Rod Carew, was not enough to stir response from the vocal, ornery Yankee fans in the left-field bleachers, the t-shirt that it covered…was.

By the end of batting practice, the suppressing weight of the humid night air and my ever-growing contempt for navy pinstripes was enough to make me shed the jersey and reveal the t-shirt sporting the phrase "Yankee Hater". 

Overall, crowd response to the shirt was surprisingly (disappointedly??) mild.  The ones that did catcall appeared, in general, to struggle with the ability to speak in complete sentences.  The brave (man with a death wish?) soul wearing a {{cough}} Red Sox jersey became much more of a lightning rod for vile pseudo-epitaphs than I.  I lived to talk smack another day.

The ironic occurrence in the left-field bleachers that evening happened when a fan assertively approached our group, and began barbing us about how much room we'd occupied on the bleacher benches or something.

I knew him not, making this a bit awkward but apparently James did.  Turns out "Lowell" was/is from Des Moines as well!!  What are the chances?!?  Small world, indeed!

Game One results: Twins lose 8-2

I won't go into painstaking detail (God only knows, I will on many other matters); only to say that Kevin Slowey kept it close for several innings before Bobby Abreau broke the game open with a 2-run homer. 

Since 2002, the Twins are 3-18 at Yankee Stadium (despite fairing much better at the Dome).  Call it the "Evil Empire"…Twins Piranha Nick Punto did.

What was sort of cool was how the Yankee organization is handling the "Final Season" elements (not to mention, they are marketing the crap out of that concept with merchandising galore) of the season.

In the outfield, there is a large "countdown" sign where, after 5 innings (constituting an official game), they dropped the number from 26 to 25.  Fan attendance for the game was over 53,000 strong.

Following the game, we caught the subway back to our hotel in midtown Manhattan (52nd & Broadway to be exact) and, after trolling the streets, adjourned to our hotel room for the evening.

Now, those of you that know me KNOW that I do a fair amount of travel, both business and pleasure.  Rare in the trip where I share a room with another (save family).  Rarer still is when I have shared a BED with someone (again, save family).  Alas, things would be different on this trip.

As a cost-saving measure, Tom booked just one room for the four of us.  Yes, hotel rooms ARE expensive in midtown, I'll give you that, and I am quite confident he had adequately communicated this information to me months earlier when booking the room.  Regardless, I remembered it not…so this was a bit of a…er…surprise to me.

To be clear, I am not homophobic.  No, I was simply uncomfortable with the amount of space (or better, lack thereof) with which I was allocated on this twin bed.  Keep in mind, I sleep alone at home on a King-size bed, and I am what you might call an "active sleeper".

With palms firmly stowed behind my butt cheeks, I fell asleep face-up…something I, again, rarely do.  I am more the fetal position kind o' guy for those of you keeping score.

Getting up in the night to use the bathroom proved no challenge for Little Steven.  Rolling myself from one lying position to another proved to be another story altogether.

Let's just say I mastered the art of the 180 degree turn (lift and flip) in one fluid motion.  There was something almost artful about the move, I am quite confident.

History shows that I am a bit of a snorer, too.  To the light sleeper, I'm sure I could prove to be…distracting.  However, NONE of the other three were light sleepers.  I wasn't getting off that easy tonight (or the next three nights, for that matter).  I'm sure between the quartet of snoring and the occasional butt trumpet thrown in for good measure, we made beautiful music together.

Day Two: Twins vs. Yankees

Choice seats!!  Our attack plan for the week was as follows: Cheap seats for one game at each ballpark; top shelf for the other.  Today, we were a scant fifteen rows behind 1st base.

This afternoon, I donned my "Jesus Hates the Yankees" t-shirt.  Unfortunately, despite the shirt and better seats, the Twins again succumbed to the same fate: another loss, 5-1.  Soon, our attention would mercifully shift to Shea Stadium and the Mets.

Speaking of Mets…or specifically Mets fans, the four of us met (no pun) up with a good friend of mine, Jerry Moses who lives in Parsippany, New Jersey..and is a life-long Mets fan.  Jerry picked us up from the hotel, and chauffeured us 45 minutes to his home for dinner.

One could argue that the highlight of the evening was watching Austin, 17-years old with an insatiable appetite and a Jughead metabolism, eat FIVE steaks, but that was not the case.

Blame it on A.D.H.D., but I could not get over what I believe to be the "coolest kitchen utensil EVER, a corn-on-the-cob butterer!!  This piece of culinary innovation holds a stick of butter with the sole purpose of buttering corn-on-the-cob.  And when I think of all the sticks of butter I have destroyed over the years.  Genius!!

Day Three: Mets vs. Phillies

For this afternoon matinee, Jerry joined the group to support HIS team!  Unlike the Twins in the previous two contests, the Mets prevailed by beating Philly's finest 3-1.

Noteworthy to the game's outcome is the fact that, with the win, the New York Mets took over sole possession of first place in the NL East.  Despite the fact that they drew almost as many fans as the two Yankee games (51K) AND they took over first, the mood was markedly less…celebratory.  Where the Yankees had made a big to-do about the stadium countdown, the Mets (also in their final season in the current park) did not.

Day Four: Mets vs. Cardinals

Once again, choice seating for this contest; this time seated along the 3rd base line.  Again, Jerry joined us for the contest, only this time he came to the park bearing gifts.  Apparently motivated by my unceasing child-like wonder over the corn-on-the-cob butterer, his wife Maxine went out and procured a similar retail product, "Butter Boy"!!

The mood was substantially more festive at Shea Stadium tonight.  Perhaps it was because the Mets were, as mentioned earlier, in sole possession of first place…or maybe it was because it was "Merengue Night".  Unfamiliar with the term, my initial thoughts were of lemon pie.  Apparently, it is a Latin dance.  Who knew?

Upon entering the stadium, we were handed what I thought was a Mets program.  And it was, I guess…sort of.  It was titled "Los Mets"…and you guessed it, it was written completely in Spanish!

Prior to the National Anthem, the Latin equivalent to the Spice Girls performed the dance at home plate (I learned later that the Merengue Dance Extravaganza was actually to take place AFTER the baseball contest…needless to say, we did not stay).

Throughout the game, batters due up were announced over the intercom in Spanish.
{{{Spanish gibberish…la blah, el blah, los blah}} SKIP SCHUMAKER!!

It was explained to me that the Mets draw a significantly stronger Latin American fan base due in part to their location (Queens) in the city and their heavily Latin lineup.  Either way, I came to the conclusion that if the Yankees is New York's Prom Queen, the Mets is her wannabe best friend.

The Mets won again, 7-2, offering little solace to the two stinging Twins losses, but garnering something worth cheering about.

In addition to back-to-back-to-back-to-back baseball games, we went to see the Broadway show "Chicago", ate lunch in Little Italy, walked the Brooklyn Bridge, and shopped in Chinatown where I learned the hard way that James and Austin shop like WOMEN, pausing (literally) at virtually every single purse vendor on the street…supposedly for their gals at home.

I, on the other hand, bartered with the cologne vendor and walked away with two new bottles of smelly stuff.  Having worn both of these fragrances before, I am now convinced that, despite my caution and discretion, I paid $40 for a couple of knock-offs, too.  Crap!

All in all, it was a great week.  I came home a little poorer, my billfold a bit lighter, but I am a whole lot richer for the experience.  Making Memories!!...that's what it's all about.  Thanks for sharing mine!