By Lee Ranney

I stopped by my favorite stream today. It’s a lovely stream that changes from day to day and minute to minute. I am, of course, talking about my stream of consciousness. I never know quite where it will take me. Come along with me and you’ll see what I mean.

This morning I made the not-so-amazing discovery that there are far too many silver minivans in this world. I was walking through our church parking lot and spotted four of these metallic-colored vans (all the same model, I might add), parked within 50 feet of one another.

This brought to mind a quote that has been attributed to Henry Ford. Back in the 1920s, Henry is reported to have said, "You can have any color car you want as long as it’s black." Apparently the 21st century equivalent is, "You can have any color minivan you want as long as it’s silver."

Of course you heard about the accident between two minivans in the preschool parking lot. It was a minor scrape that didn’t require any repair because the paint transfers were indistinguishable.

Wooded Lots. Models Open.

This was the sign I saw on my way home from church. The Twin Cities must really be overdeveloped if we have to have models of wooded lots for people to view. I wonder what that tour is like … "This lot has a variety of hardwoods, including oak, ash, maple and birch. If you’re interested in something more pliable, may I suggest our softwoods model?" Sounds like a lumber company’s dream come true — or some 23rd century museum tour.

This leads me to speculate on the state of our world, ecologically speaking. To hear the inventor of the Internet, and his friends and associates tell it, we are in danger of completely destroying this planet we call home unless we stop using fossil fuels, electricity, paper, nuclear power and other non-renewable sources of energy. And while we’re at it we’d better take a long, hard look at how we process even the renewable sources of energy, because those processes might, themselves, harm the environment.

A friend of mine observed that he might be more apt to follow some of the "green" lifestyle advice these doomsayers propose if "watchdogs of the environment" would get rid of their SUVs, and stop flying all over the world to deliver their "gloomsday" message. He said something about practicing what you preach.

I’m not discounting the need to be more responsible with the use of our natural resources, but come on, people, let’s be just as responsible with the proposals we make. For example, regarding toilet paper usage, singer Sheryl Crow proposed using "only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required." Now that Ms. Crow has adopted a baby (congratulations on that, by the way), I wonder if she’s come to her senses.

Celebrities’ adopting babies and children is something else entirely (he said in a Monty Python kind of way). I mean, I’m happy for them. As a parent of an adopted child myself, I can understand some of the feelings and thinking that may be motivating them. The desire to provide a better life for another person is admirable, but one wonders if some of these adoptions aren’t more about keeping the adoptive parent(s) in the public eye than they are about the well-being of the child, especially when publicists are involved.

That’s an interesting job — publicist. By definition a publicist is a student of or specialist in public or international law. No, wait. It’s a journalist who writes about politics and public affairs. No, that’s not it. Here it is: A person whose business it is to publicize persons, organizations, etc.

Actually all three definitions are correct and that’s the order in which they are listed in Webster’s New World College Dictionary, Fourth Edition. You’ll find publicist listed right between public housing and publicity, although a publicist is more concerned about the later than the former.

Of course it’s theoretically possible that a publicist could seek publicity for public housing. The likelihood of that is about as good as me waking up tomorrow morning to find the paparazzi camped out on my lawn. If they did I would ask them to each take a bushel of dandelions with them when they leave. I’m told they are useful for many things (dandelions, not the paparazzi), like dandelion wine and dandelion salad. That reminds me of Vineland, N.J., the self-proclaimed Dandelion Capital of the World …

It’s time for me to get out of this stream and find my way back home. But before I go, congratulations to my daughter, Laurel, and all of her classmates on their upcoming graduation from Shakopee High School.

Lee Ranney is a Valley News community columnist.