By Shannon Fiecke and Renee Stewart

For years as a single mother, Lonnie Dupre relied on her parents for help raising her two sons.

Now the roles have reversed.

After Dupre’s mom died six years ago, she moved her dad Lloyd from Lindstrom to Shakopee to live with her. Lloyd Dupre, 83, suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, so Dupre, 56, whose brother lives in New Mexico, has become her father’s main support.

"I’m so happy to be able to do something in return," she said, "but it’s definitely a challenge as well." Lonnie Dupre picks up her father Lloyd from Prairie Adult Care at Victory Lutheran Church in Eden Prairie after work. Dupre’s dad, who has Alzheimer's Disease, lives with her in Shakopee. Dupre sees a councilor for advice and emotional support.

Dupre is among an ever-growing number of caregivers who are discovering they cannot do it alone.

Fortunately for area families, there is assistance available from providers like Senior Community Services and Prairie Adult Care, for respite or daytime care, support groups or coaching for caregivers.

More than 50 million people across the United States care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

There are also 1.4 million children who provide care to an older family member, though not solely, according to the National Alliance for Caregiving and the United Hospital Fund.

Caregivers fill many roles, from running errands to taking on medical and financial decisions to full-time care. With varied levels of expectations and needs come a host of questions and concerns on the part of the caregiver, which can be a lonely role.

As the number of caregivers tending to friends and loved ones grows, so has the need to inform, support and encourage them in their efforts.

"Fewer family members are available to help — due to holding jobs, living out of state, and smaller family size — so more of the responsibility falls on the primary caregiver, such as an adult child or spouse," said Peg Kamholz, a licensed social worker and case manager for Senior Community Services, a nonprofit agency with a satellite office at the Eden Prairie Senior Center.

Prairie Adult Care offers four monthly support groups, at which caregivers can share their experiences and seek advice from one another or the group facilitator. A couple of the groups either include care-receivers or run a separate simultaneous session for them.

After Mary Speiker’s husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, her doctor recommended she attend a support group so she could "know how other people feel."

"It does help," the Shakopee resident said.

The support group is a place for caregivers to both laugh and cry about their common struggles. From left are Dorothy Trehy, Anita Doss and Mary Speiker.

Kamholz facilitates Prairie Adult Care’s support groups in Eden Prairie and also offers one-on-one coaching sessions, which are based on a model similar to life coaching.

More caregivers are recognizing themselves as caregivers, she said, whether they take mom to the doctor and help with shopping or give a spouse around-the-clock care.

"Society is beginning to recognize the vital role that family caregivers play and that we need to support them," Kamholz said.

Dupre has found that support with Prairie Adult Care, which her father attends while she works at Byerly’s in St. Louis Park. Until she discovered the adult-care service, her father stayed at home by himself during the day.

"It was a constant state of worry [before]," she said. "It’s been a godsend."

Although she is unable to attend support groups because of her work schedule, Dupre sees a counselor once a month to talk and get advice.

"What I’ve realized is you really do need to reach out," Dupre said, because it’s very difficult to try to handle everything by yourself.

The need for caregiver coaching has greatly increased, especially over the past 10 years,

"One of the big reasons is that people over the age of 85 make up the fastest-growing segment of our population, and they tend to have more chronic health problems and need more care," Kamholz said.

As a coach, Kamholz helps caregivers get the necessary services in place, as well as address any legal, medical and financial issues — but her main focus is on the caregiver: What they hope for themselves and what they can do to relieve stress.

Caregivers need someone they feel they can say anything to, Kamholz said.

"They need someone to give them ideas on communication techniques and services available. They need to be reminded that they are doing a very difficult job, and that I will help and support them with the decisions they make," she said.

Each case she sees is different, but there are some repeating themes.

"For spouses, very practical issues, such as adequate respite care are accompanied by emotional issues, such as the gradual ‘loss’ of their partner, either physically or mentally," Kamholz explained.

There may be physical limitations on the part of the caregiver as well. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimates 30 percent of family members caring for seniors are also 65 years or older.

There are those caught in between family responsibilities — they care for a parent, but also want to spend time with their children and grandchildren.

Dorothy Trehy, whose mother is in an assisted-care facility, has found that taking care of her mother’s needs has become a full-time job. She struggles with trying to maintain a normal life for herself and her husband.

Trehy came for the first time to the support group in Shakopee recently because she realizes she has to learn how to make time for herself — which will involve setting boundaries with her mother and learning not to feel guilty about doing so.

Kamholz said adult children struggle most with balancing their roles and responsibilities.

"How much can they give to their parents or grandparents and still have time and energy for their own children and spouses?" she said. "Often they leave their own needs out of the equation, and that’s an important area we can work on together."