There’s Ole:

“Ole got a job in the fertilizer factory. The boss tried to determine the extent of Ole’s abilities. ‘Tell me, do you know anything about nitrates?’ Answered Ole… ‘All I know is dey are cheaper dan da day rates.”

And then there’s Lena:

“Ven ve ver datin’, Ole and I almost froze to death at da drive-in movie. Ve ver vatchin’ Closed for da Season.”

Shakopee amusement park Valleyfair opens Saturday for a preseason weekend.

The park will be open from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Next week, it will open Thursday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Friday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., Saturday from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. and will be open daily after that.

By Ruth Anne Maddox

Staff Writer

The Savage Arts Council will sponsor two juried art competitions in June.

The events are made possible through grant assistance from The Metropolitan Regional Arts Council (MRAC) and will include both an Adult Show and a Junior Art Competition.

A walking tour of Shakopee’s Catholic Cemetery is planned for noon Thursday, May 29. Participants should meet at the cemetery, located between Clay and Adams streets on West 10th Avenue (across the street from the Women’s Prison).

Reviewed by Richard Crawford

"Married Alive!," the latest offering at Chanhassen Dinner Theatres’ Fireside Stage, is a close cousin to the hit "I Do! I Do!," the longest running show on the Chanhassen stage. It also contains some of the same humor captured in another Chanhassen forerunner, "Mid-Life! The Crisis Musical."

While some of the themes are familiar, there is plenty of humor to be had in this musical comedy.

Ever wanted to captain your own boat but didn’t know how?